In grateful memory of the architect Jerry Krause. Rest in peace.
Uncle Marvin.
Wasn’t my actual uncle.
He was the second husband
Of a second cousin,
Or somethin’.
He was only around
A little while
When I was just
A little child.
Uncle Marvin owned a toy store.
He did card tricks
And pulled silver dollars from ears.
And when we’d go to his house
We’d leave a little richer.
A wind-up dinosaur
That shot sparks from its mouth.
A rip cord motorcycle.
A superball.
One time,
He took me aside:
Come ‘ere, Danny,
I wanna talk to you.
Alright,
I’ve got a deal for you--
The deal of a lifetime.
You paying attention?
You gotta pay attention.
That’s the key.
Now,
I’m gonna give you ten thousand dollars cash--
Right here, right now--
And alls you gotta do is
Not think about a hippopotamus
For five seconds.
GO!
I have never known five longer seconds.
He counted them out loud.
One.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
It was all I could see in my head.
Hippopotamus.
It’s the same one I can see right now.
Hippopotamus.
Damn it.
Two.
Well,
I can lie.
How would he know?
He can’t possibly know, right?
I mean, he’s not a mind-reader.
He can’t be a mind-reader.
Mind-reading is just a trick--
That’s what my dad always says
When Uncle Shel does it
At parties.
Hippopotamus.
Fuck!
Hippopotamus.
Three.
Maybe I can think about something else--
I’ll think about an octopus.
Maybe then I could stop thinking about this fucking
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Four.
Octopus.
Octopus.
Octopus.
Octopus.
Octopus.
Man,
I’m doing pretty good.
I haven’t thought about that
Octopus
This whole time.
Heeeey,
Did you see that?
I thought octopus
Instead of hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Five.
Uncle Marvin looked at me
And smiled.
And waited.
And I thought about lying to him
And getting my money,
But there was something about the look on his face--
In his eyes--
In his smile--
That told me
Don’t.
That this was a guy with tricks up his sleeve.
So I told the truth.
I couldn’t do it.
He laughed his big-bellied laugh
And patted my little boy back
As if it were a man’s.
I know, kid.
I know.
And we headed back to join the group.
And that night
I left not just richer,
But wiser--
Two Hot Wheels in my pocket
And a hippo in my head.
Wasn’t my actual uncle.
He was the second husband
Of a second cousin,
Or somethin’.
He was only around
A little while
When I was just
A little child.
Uncle Marvin owned a toy store.
He did card tricks
And pulled silver dollars from ears.
And when we’d go to his house
We’d leave a little richer.
A wind-up dinosaur
That shot sparks from its mouth.
A rip cord motorcycle.
A superball.
One time,
He took me aside:
Come ‘ere, Danny,
I wanna talk to you.
Alright,
I’ve got a deal for you--
The deal of a lifetime.
You paying attention?
You gotta pay attention.
That’s the key.
Now,
I’m gonna give you ten thousand dollars cash--
Right here, right now--
And alls you gotta do is
Not think about a hippopotamus
For five seconds.
GO!
I have never known five longer seconds.
He counted them out loud.
One.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
It was all I could see in my head.
Hippopotamus.
It’s the same one I can see right now.
Hippopotamus.
Damn it.
Two.
Well,
I can lie.
How would he know?
He can’t possibly know, right?
I mean, he’s not a mind-reader.
He can’t be a mind-reader.
Mind-reading is just a trick--
That’s what my dad always says
When Uncle Shel does it
At parties.
Hippopotamus.
Fuck!
Hippopotamus.
Three.
Maybe I can think about something else--
I’ll think about an octopus.
Maybe then I could stop thinking about this fucking
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Four.
Octopus.
Octopus.
Octopus.
Octopus.
Octopus.
Man,
I’m doing pretty good.
I haven’t thought about that
Octopus
This whole time.
Heeeey,
Did you see that?
I thought octopus
Instead of hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Hippopotamus.
Five.
Uncle Marvin looked at me
And smiled.
And waited.
And I thought about lying to him
And getting my money,
But there was something about the look on his face--
In his eyes--
In his smile--
That told me
Don’t.
That this was a guy with tricks up his sleeve.
So I told the truth.
I couldn’t do it.
He laughed his big-bellied laugh
And patted my little boy back
As if it were a man’s.
I know, kid.
I know.
And we headed back to join the group.
And that night
I left not just richer,
But wiser--
Two Hot Wheels in my pocket
And a hippo in my head.
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